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As human beings, we construct our own realities and give meanings to experiences and events. This creates our unique perspectives, which is true and real for us. I provide a safe and non-judgmental space for every client to tell their own unique stories about their pain and explore how they make sense of their lives. Adding to this, I use my systemic paradigm which explains how everything and everyone is connected to everything else.  We, therefore, do not diagnose a person with symptoms (e.g. depression, anxiety, and trauma) as being ‘sick’ or in isolation. One consequence of this is a richer view of the client and their life. This allows the client to be seen within a wider life context, making therapeutic outcomes far more sustainable and enduring.

Which leads me to the importance of understanding the wider system that people are part of. That can be a partner, family, work, community, etc. As couples and family therapy was one focus of my Master degree, I will discuss it in further detail. Each person in the system (couple or family) influences and is affected by every other member of that system. There is no linear cause and effect.  If one member of the unit is in pain, all members will be impacted and react in some way. This helps to understand how everyone in the family, (intentionally or unintentionally) is participating in the troubled couple and/or family dynamics. This would mean that pressure is off to find any blame; consequentially motivating family members to work together to improve and restore family relationships and dynamics. Therefore in couples and family therapy, everyone member has the opportunity to express their viewpoint and explain their understanding of the situation. Everyone’s input results in more than the sum of its individual parts.  More of a ‘3D’ representation so to speak. All members are also present to be part of the problem-solving and decision-making processes; developing mutual respect among its members.

As everyone participates in the couples/ family therapy process, it is a vibrant, dynamic and fun practice.

 Once couples and/or family members learn skills and techniques on how to communicate more helpfully and effectively, the system spontaneously begins balancing, restoring and rebuilding itself. My role then is to nurture the change and developments.

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